Thoughts about This Pregnancy

So, I’m very well aware that every single pregnancy is different for every woman…even for the same lady who has been pregnant multiple times.  It’s just never the same and you cannot have any expectations for the way things are supposed to go.  That being said, I thought I would jot down a few of my thoughts on this/my first pregnancy…

Blogging- well lets start with the easiest one…as you probably have noticed, my blogging has been much more sporadic since announcing my pregnancy.  Absolutely no reason for this except everything else just seems so insignificant.  I sit down to write a blog post about, let’s say fashion, and my mind cannot go on writing about something that is so far from what is on my mind at the moment.  Ever since getting pregnant, that is pretty much all I think about.  Therefore, I cannot write about anything else it seems.

Food- I REALLY wanted to have those cravings that you hear about.  Mainly so I could send Derek out for Taco Bell at 1am…BUT, nothing has really transpired to where I was like I want this right now!  In the beginning, it was a challenge because nothing sounded good.  We really couldn’t decide on what we were having to eat that night until about 5:00 or 6:00pm, basically until I was ready to eat!  Besides that, it has been pretty same-old same-old

Anxiety- I feel like I have had more anxiety while pregnant.  Not so much anxiety around having this baby, but rather anxiety in general.  These statements are very true for the beginning of the pregnancy.  Now….I have less than normal anxious thoughts.  For example, we were at Home Depot waiting for some paint and nobody was helping us.  Derek even went to the customer service desk twice to request help.  After waiting over 30 minutes, Derek asked to speak to a manager.  Basically, he was fuming.  Me, I was calm as a cucumber.  I don’t know, but I’m feeling so much more laid back these days.  With regards to having a baby, my confidence has increased and the feelings of “we have no idea what we are doing” have decreased.  I felt so overwhelmed in the beginning with all the information out there, but now I’m feeling prepared as I’m ever going to be and ready to do this!

Energy- Wow, energy is really a hit or miss in this pregnancy.  In the beginning, there was absolutely no energy available.  In fact, I have no idea how people are pregnant when they already have a child/children…where in the world do they get that energy to continue daily life?  The middle, mind blowing energy levels.  More energy than pre-pregnancy.  I had the motivation to get things done and keep working until 11:00pm.  Nowadays, I will go 2 or 3 days with great energy and then have a day or so where I feel very blah and completely run down.  I’m expecting the energy levels to keep decreasing with every new week.

Dressing the Bump- I would like to go back in time and smack myself in the face with this category.  I honestly thought I would have this adorable little bump to dress, wear my regular clothes, and just have an expanding belly.  Boy was I EVER wrong!  First, I didn’t start showing at all until 23 weeks.  About 6 months was when I finally hit the, hey you’re pregnant, mark.  Up until this point, it wasn’t like I was still frolicking around in my regular clothes.  Nope, I was growing…just not in my mid-section.  I hear this is typical for women having little girls.  I just felt so caught in a in-between stage it wasn’t funny!  Next time, I’m not going to have any expectations and just roll with it.

Emotions- First, let me say that I’m not an emotional person normally…like, at all.  In fact, pre-pregnancy I probably only cried once a year, maybe.  I just didn’t do it.  I’m positive I’ve cried more this pregnancy than I have my whole life in total.  It is so strange for me to be so emotional.  I just don’t know what to do with myself.  The first time I laughed at myself for crying was when I was watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  It was the episode where Lisa and Ken were renewing their vows.  I started crying and then started realizing that I was crying and then proceeded to laugh at myself because I was crying!  Seriously, I have never cried watching a show before.  Crazy train right here!  I’m looking forward to getting those tears back in check!

Movement- Ahhh the movement.  Seriously, one of the biggest milestones to look forward to when being pregnant.  It is so funny because the little flutters, kicks, or however else they explain it, are sooooooo not movement.  For me, feeling actual movement didn’t happen until later.  Then, once I felt it, it was one of the weirdest feelings I’ve ever been so lucky to feel.  I was very weirded out in the beginning.  Now, I look forward to it and it is a sense of comfort knowing everything is ok in there.  Plus, after seeing her moving in the 3D/4D ultrasound and knowing what she is doing in there, it is even better!

Well, this turned in to quite possibly the longest post ever.  If you are still with me, thanks for reading my thoughts!  It was kind of fun listing these details out!